Identity therapy for when you want to feel like yourself
I work with adults who feel split between what they show and what they keep guarded. Here, we can make room for the parts of you that have felt hard to name.
What people bring me
People often come in feeling unsure of who they are outside other people’s expectations. They may keep editing themselves to avoid conflict, judgment, or disappointment. It can feel easier to adapt than to say what they want. Over time, that can leave someone feeling disconnected from their own voice.
- I don’t feel like myself around other people.
- I keep changing who I am to fit in.
- I know what others expect, but not what I want.
- I feel hard to recognize even to myself.
We can notice what you protect, what you hide, and what feels true.
How I work with it
I stay close to how identity feels in the room, not just as an idea but as something lived. Together, we can notice patterns of self-protection, shame, and self-editing as they happen. I pay attention to the parts of you that feel split, hidden, or uncertain, and I make room for a fuller version of your experience. The work can look different depending on whether someone is speaking about identity alone or alongside family, culture, or relationships.
- Psychodynamic
- We can look at the older experiences that shaped how safe it felt to show yourself. That often includes noticing familiar roles, defenses, and expectations that still show up now.
- Relational
- I pay attention to what happens between us, because identity is often shaped in relationship. That can help us notice when you start bracing, pleasing, or pulling back.
- AEDP
- When feelings feel stuck behind words, I may help you stay with them more closely. We can notice what comes up in the body and what feels hard to say out loud.
- DBT
- If emotions get intense or overwhelming, I can bring in concrete ways to slow things down. That can help you stay present while we talk about what feels most tender.
What the first sessions look like
In the first sessions, I listen for the situations where this shows up most strongly and what it has cost you to stay guarded. We talk about what feels safest to share, what feels risky, and what you do not need to have figured out yet.
I offer a free 15-minute consultation. I usually reply within 2 business days.
Questions people ask
Why do I feel different depending on who I’m with?
Can therapy help if I don’t know who I am yet?
What if I’m afraid of saying the wrong thing?
Is this therapy for feeling misunderstood?
The practical details
- Fees
- My fee is $175 per session.
- Insurance
- I accept Aetna and Optum. If you use a different plan, I can talk through what your coverage may look like when you get in touch.
- Where
- 26 Court Street, Suite 409, Brooklyn, NY 11242
- Availability
- I am accepting new clients.
